Exploring why autistic women and girls are often identified later than autistic men and boys.
Reflecting on the long-term impact of masking on a person's wellbeing and sense of identity.
Considering what it means to receive a diagnosis as an adult after years of not having language to describe your experience.
Thinking about the difference between fitting in and genuinely belonging.
Noticing how societal expectations can shape the way people present themselves over time.
Masha Pavlova opens her TEDx Talk by sharing that she was diagnosed as autistic as an adult. She describes growing up feeling different but not knowing why, and working hard to appear like everyone else. Masha explains that autistic women are often diagnosed later in life because they are skilled at masking. She reflects on the exhaustion of spending years hiding her true self in order to fit in.
• What stood out to you about Masha's experience of growing up without knowing she was autistic?
• Masha describes working hard to appear like everyone else. What do you think that kind of effort feels like over time?
• She talks about autistic women being skilled at masking. What do you think makes that both a strength and a challenge?
• Has there been a time in your life when understanding something about yourself changed the way you saw your past experiences?
• What might it mean to belong somewhere, rather than just fit in?
• What kinds of environments or relationships might make it easier for someone to unmask?
• Is there something from Masha's story that connected with your own experience or someone you know?
The questions within this guide are designed to open dialogue and facilitate discussion around the relevant topics. It is up to the user to adapt as needed to best suit the person they are supporting. A neuroaffirming approach was central to the design of these resources and remains essential to their application. This means recognising and respecting the diverse ways people think, communicate, and experience the world, ensuring all conversations are led with curiosity, respect, and without judgement. These resources are a starting point. Trust your knowledge of the person you are supporting to shape the conversation from there.
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