Noticing that people naturally move, think, communicate, and take part in different ways.
Exploring how the pull to fit in can sometimes change the way a person does things.
Thinking about the many valid ways to join in, including active participation, quiet observation, or stepping back.
Considering what it feels like to do something your own way when others are doing it differently.
Reflecting on what helps a person feel safe enough to be themselves.
A teacher asks students in Dead Poets Society to walk across a courtyard in any way they choose. Each student starts with their own natural pace and movement style. Over time the group begins to shift toward moving in similar ways. The teacher points out how quickly people can move toward doing what others do, and how strong the pull to fit in can be. He invites the students to find their own walk again, and recognises one student who chooses not to walk at all as a valid way of taking part.
• What did you notice about the way students were walking at the start of the clip?
• What changed as the group kept going?
• Why do you think people sometimes copy others, even when they did not plan to?
• What do you think finding your own walk means beyond actually walking?
• Have you ever changed something about yourself to fit in with others?
• How did it feel to do that?
• What helps you feel safe enough to do things your own way?
• What makes a space feel welcoming for different styles of taking part?
The questions within this guide are designed to open dialogue and facilitate discussion around the relevant topics. It is up to the user to adapt as needed to best suit the person they are supporting. A neuroaffirming approach was central to the design of these resources and remains essential to their application. This means recognising and respecting the diverse ways people think, communicate, and experience the world, ensuring all conversations are led with curiosity, respect, and without judgement. These resources are a starting point. Trust your knowledge of the person you are supporting to shape the conversation from there.
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