Exploring the many different ways assertiveness can look, including direct language, written communication, asking for processing time, or setting a limit calmly.
Thinking about how saying no or asking for something you need is a form of self-respect rather than being difficult or demanding.
Considering how checking in with the other person, such as asking whether now is a good time to talk, is itself a form of assertive and considerate communication.
Reflecting on low-stakes moments where assertive communication might be easier to practise before using it in more challenging situations.
Exploring what assertive communication looks and feels like for you personally, and how that may be different from what it looks like for others.
The presenter introduces assertive communication as the middle ground between passive and aggressive, where a person expresses their needs clearly while also respecting others. She shares five practical tips for making assertive communication feel more manageable, particularly in moments that feel uncertain or uncomfortable. The tips include using direct language, asking for what you need, saying no without over-explaining, checking in with the other person, and practising in lower-stakes situations first. She acknowledges that assertiveness does not come naturally to everyone and that it is a skill that develops with use rather than something a person either has or does not have.
• What did the presenter describe as the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication?
• Which of the five tips felt most useful or most relevant to you?
• Is there a situation where you find it easy to ask for what you need, and one where it feels harder?
• What is your preferred way of communicating something important, and what helps you feel clear and confident doing it?
• How do you let someone know you need more time, a break, or a different approach?
• What might you say if someone asks you to do something that does not work for you?
• How could you let someone know that it's not a good time for a conversation right now, without it feeling like a rejection?
• What is one situation this week where you could practise one of these tips?
The questions within this guide are designed to open dialogue and facilitate discussion around the relevant topics. It is up to the user to adapt as needed to best suit the person they are supporting. A neuroaffirming approach was central to the design of these resources and remains essential to their application. This means recognising and respecting the diverse ways people think, communicate, and experience the world, ensuring all conversations are led with curiosity, respect, and without judgement. These resources are a starting point. Trust your knowledge of the person you are supporting to shape the conversation from there.
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