Noticing the pull that gossip can have, even when a person is actively trying to resist it.
Exploring what makes a piece of information feel irresistible to share with someone else.
Considering the difference between sharing information because it genuinely helps someone and sharing it for the excitement of it.
Thinking about how gossip can affect the people being talked about, even when they are not present in the conversation.
Recognising that the urge to share private information can be difficult to manage, especially when the information feels exciting or surprising.
Exploring what it means to keep a confidence, and how it can feel when that trust is broken.
Rachel is attempting to stop gossiping, and she is proud of herself for resisting the urge to share things she has heard. She accidentally overhears a private and flirtatious phone conversation between two of her closest friends, Monica and Chandler, who are secretly in a relationship. Rachel is desperate to share what she has discovered but is held back by her resolution not to gossip. She tries to hint at the information to Joey without directly saying it, only to discover that Joey already knows about Monica and Chandler. The scene ends with both Rachel and Joey excitedly sharing what they know with each other, with Rachel's resolution effectively broken.
• Why do you think Rachel found it so hard to keep what she had heard to herself?
• Have you ever found out something that felt really hard not to share?
• What is the difference between sharing news and gossiping?
• How do you think Monica and Chandler would have felt if they knew Rachel had told Joey what she overheard?
• Have you ever been the person that someone gossiped about? What was that like?
• What might help someone resist the urge to share private information about another person?
The questions within this guide are designed to open dialogue and facilitate discussion around the relevant topics. It is up to the user to adapt as needed to best suit the person they are supporting. A neuroaffirming approach was central to the design of these resources and remains essential to their application. This means recognising and respecting the diverse ways people think, communicate, and experience the world, ensuring all conversations are led with curiosity, respect, and without judgement. These resources are a starting point. Trust your knowledge of the person you are supporting to shape the conversation from there.
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