Exploring how strong preferences about routines and environments can be a valid form of feeling safe.
Thinking about how adjusting to an unexpected change can take time, and that this is a normal experience.
Considering how the response of others can either help or add to the difficulty in a moment like this.
Reflecting on how offering an explanation, a choice, or a small step can make it easier for someone to shift their thinking.
Exploring what flexible thinking can look like in practice, including finding a middle ground rather than a complete change.
Rachel has cleaned the apartment and moved some of the furniture while Monica was away. Monica notices that the green ottoman has been moved and becomes very unsettled by the change. Rachel explains the reason for the move, but Monica struggles to shift her thinking. Monica puts the ottoman back in its original spot. The other characters watch and respond in different ways, some with humour and some with patience.
• What did you notice about how Monica responded when she saw the ottoman had been moved?
• How did the other characters respond to Monica's reaction?
• Have you ever felt unsettled when something familiar was different from what you expected?
• What helped you, or what do you think might have helped in that moment?
• What is the difference between not wanting something to change and not being able to adjust to it?
• How could someone support another person who is finding it hard to shift their thinking?
• What might help two people find a middle ground when one person wants things to stay the same and the other has already made a change?
• Is there a way of letting someone know your preferences before a change happens that might make things easier?
The questions within this guide are designed to open dialogue and facilitate discussion around the relevant topics. It is up to the user to adapt as needed to best suit the person they are supporting. A neuroaffirming approach was central to the design of these resources and remains essential to their application. This means recognising and respecting the diverse ways people think, communicate, and experience the world, ensuring all conversations are led with curiosity, respect, and without judgement. These resources are a starting point. Trust your knowledge of the person you are supporting to shape the conversation from there.
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